


Not an Exact Science

by BlackandBlueMagpie



Series: Don't Call Me Brave [5]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 07:16:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackandBlueMagpie/pseuds/BlackandBlueMagpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Combeferre isn't expecting to hear from Enjolras for a few days, because that's what Enjolras does, he sulks.<br/>Enjolras turns up on his door step at 11 the next day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not an Exact Science

Combeferre isn't really expecting to hear from Enjolras for a couple of days. That's what Enjolras does, he sulks and refuses to confront the problem and ignores anyone who will remind him of it. Combeferre himself has decided not to call his friend, waiting instead for him to get over it. Because Combeferre is annoyed, he's annoyed at his friend for his other friends sake and he's angry at how flippant Enjolras can be. He should be used to it, he supposes, given how long he's known Enjolras and that he's never really changed, just matured a little. But after a while he's gotten fed up of how callous he's been of Grantaire, and how little he's noticed when even Marius has got an exact idea of what's happening.  
He's not entirely what he expects to happen, but it's not this.  
Enjolras turns up on his doorstep at 11 the next morning. He looks like he might have run over, chest rising and falling a little too quickly and cheeks flushed, and he leans against the railing of the stairwell. Combeferre folds his arms.  
"Did you figure out why every one's annoyed at you? Because that will very much affect the course of this conversation."  
"Grantaire came over." Enjolras tells him.  
"Oh."  
"He was drunk."  
"What did you expect?"  
"I didn't realise he cared so much." Combeferre snorts "He tried to give up drinking didn't he." It's not a question but Combeferre murmurs a yes anyway.  
"He was doing well."  
"He went 3 days."  
"Doesn't seem like much to you, but they're some of the hardest days. Joly was looking after him, and Grantaire was tired and shaking and ill and you accused him of being drunk. After all that it's no wonder he went out." There's a moment of silence.  
"We kissed." Enjolras says suddenly.  
"Y-You what?"  
"I-I kissed him. And I don't know why..." There's a tremor in his voice that Combeferre knows and Enjolras looks like he did when he was 15.  
"Okay..." Combeferre nods, pressing his lips together. "Okay, come in."  
Combeferre makes tea, strong black tea for Enjolras and milky tea for himself, and settles cross legged next to his friend. The situation is vaguely reminiscent of when Enjolras came round one weekend, drenched by the rain long hair dripping onto the floor boards. He'd looked scared, stormy eyes wide and uncertain. They'd cradled mugs of tea then, Enjolras spilling out everything and anything before finally admitting what he'd come here for.  
'I'm gay.' He'd said. 'And I don't think I can tell anyone except you.' Combeferre had taken his hand then and soothed him and let him talk and told him everything would be alright.  
He's not sure what to do now.  
"How'd it happen?" He tries. Enjolras is silent, staring into his mug as he thinks.  
"He came over, and I didn't want him walking home as drunk as he was. I brought him so painkillers and he snapped at me and told me to stop acting like I cared and we argued and I said I was sorry and then he admitted the three days without drinking. And he just... He cried and I never realised that... He seemed so delicate and unsure when he's usually so confident and I didn't know what to say, I mean he was pouring out his heart and asking if... He asked if he'd fallen for a person more machine than man." He swallows biting his lip. "And I told him not to go and then next thing I'd kissed him. And he kissed me back... He clung to me like I was a life raft. I just don't get it."  
"What don't you get?"  
"Why me? I treated him like shit and didn't even realise I was doing it. Why does he bother, he doesn't enjoy the meetings, he doesn't believe in any of it he just..."  
"What did he say to you that one time?"  
"What..?"  
"He told you he believed in you. Enjolras Grantaire really likes you. It's why he comes along. I don't know why he doesn't, why he can't believe in improving the country but I think he wants to and you're a step towards that. Everyone loves you for your passion but it's something more than that for Grantaire, you represent more. I'm not saying his feelings are based purely on that, but it's why he comes along and tries. I think if you got to know him you'd see that."  
Enjolras nods, he still hasn't touched his tea but he's studying it with an intensity.  
"When I think about it he's always there, he always wants to help even if I don't let him." He looks like he hasn't slept and Combeferre can imagine him pacing around his room. "I don't know how I feel, until yesterday I thought I was indifferent to him. I never hated him I just... Worried. But now I've started thinking after what you said and everything and I just... There's something."  
"Enjolras, I'm going to say it now and I'm not saying this is it but... Don't pity him okay, because it's the last thing he needs - a relationship born out of pity."  
"I'm not- I wouldn't do that 'Ferre, I- This is different..."  
Combeferre is silent for a moment, sipping his tea as he processes the situation.  
"Why did you kiss him? Really."  
"I don't know, it just seemed right. I was disappointed when it seemed he didn't want to kiss me... I wanted to comfort him and let him know I cared. And I don't know what that means."  
Combeferre reaches across and takes Enjolras' hand, squeezing his fingers.  
"I'm afraid I think you're going to have to figure this one out on your own." Enjolras gives a small smile, but it's sad and his head rests on Combeferre's shoulder.  
"I've was afraid you'd say that." Combeferre moves to run his fingers over Enjolras’ hair, smiling.  
"I'm not a magician. I just notice things, but I can't tell you how you're feeling. I'll listen all you want."  
"I didn't sleep at all, but he snuck out... Some when. So I thought maybe it'd be best to gather my thoughts a bit more before I spoke to him because I can’t explain this. Not properly and I'm worried he'll just think well, like you thought. I worried about where he went, no one can get hold of him normally so..."  
"Jehan found him this morning. I told him to keep me updated, he end up at Grantaires when he couldn't sleep and Grantaire woke him up early when he went back home."  
"Oh..."  
"Sorry, I should have mentioned that. You really worried about him?"  
"He always worries me."  
"Really?" Combeferre frowns, leaning back slightly.  
"It frustrates me so much because he- That is going to sound stupid."  
"Nothing sounds stupid, you can tell me." Combeferre touches his cheek gently.  
"If he's not there... I worry and I, I miss him. Which is stupid because if he is there he just argue and undermines me. And I didn't- It just suddenly- I can explain it."  
"Don't try to then. Despite how much it frustrates you not all things can be explained."  
Enjolras sighs.  
"You can't keep talking yourself out of things Enjolras."  
They sit in silence, Enjolras never finishes his tea and it sits between his hands cooling as he frowns. Combeferre recognises it well, his eyes are dark and his eyebrows pinch together and his jaw sets. He can practically see his brain working, and so he doesn't speak.  
When they eventually do get up to say their goodbyes Enjolras practically clings to Combeferre, arms wrapped tightly around him while he buries his face in his shoulder. Combeferre strokes his hair and murmurs to him.  
“After everything else you can do this.”

**Author's Note:**

> Life is not an exact science, it is an art - Samuel Butler.


End file.
